Scott Kazmir (0-0, -.--) vs Philip Humber (0-3, 2.89)
Some nights you're glad that you don't get CSN Houston. Tonight would be one of those nights. The Astros were down two touchdowns before they had recorded six outs, and that's really about all that you need to know. Cleveland kicks Houston's hiney 19-6, and the Astros fall to 5-12 now just past 1/10 of the way through 2013.
On the Mound:
*Philip Humber, come on down! You're the next Astros starter to get smashed by a 1st inning anvil. After disastrously bad starts in Oakland this week by Erik Bedard (0.1 IP, 6 R) and Bud Norris (0.2 IP, 6 R), Humber came home and did them one worse. The carnage: 0.1 IP / 8 H / 8 R / 8 ER / 1 BB / 0 K.
*Dallas Keuchel came to stop the bleeding in the 1st, but then promptly coughed up six more in the 2nd, though he was aided in that task by a pair of Astros errors. A solo shot starting the 3rd added one more to the tally, so Kid Keuchy's final line went thusly: 2.2 IP / 7 H / 7 R / 3 ER / 2 BB / 3 K.
*Travis Blackley was welcomed off the DL by a three-run HR from Jason Giambi, and he finished his inning with 3 H, 3 R, 2 BB allowed.
*Rhiner Cruz let in Cleveland's 19th run in the 5th, then allowed a hit and two walks in the 6th before his night was done.
*All hail Paul Clemens! He was the only Houston pitcher worth his salt tonight, allowing only a lone single over 3.1 otherwise perfect innings of work.
At the Plate:
*The Astros actually roughed up Houston native and Sugar Land Skeeters alum Scott Kazmir, in this his first ML game since 2011, touching him for 6 runs in 3.1 IP. The Indians just roughed up fellow Houstonian Humber even more.
*Brandon Barnes had the single biggest blow, a two-run shot in the 2nd for his first HR of 2013. Barnyard finished 1 for 4.
*Fellow Brandon, Brandon Laird, had a HR himself, going 2 for 5 with 2 K in his 2013 Houston debut.
*Ronny Cedeno was the first to get the Astros on the board, and he was responsible for half of their runs, going 1 for 4 with 3 RBI and 2 K.
*Jose Altuve is a machine. He went 2 for 3 tonight, extending his current hitting streak to a season-long six games, raising his average to .371, and giving him his 8th multi-hit game of 2013.
*Carlos Pena (1 for 4, 2 R, BB, K) and Justin Maxwell (1 for 5, K) had a double apiece.
*Chris Carter (0 for 4, 2 K) and Matt Dominguez (0 for 3, K) both went hitless, but each had a walk and a run scored.
*Marwin Gonzalez (1 for 2) and Carlos Corporan (1 for 3, 2 K) also added hits.
Philip Humber got the first batter of the game. Then he single-single-double-double-walk-homer-double-single-doubled his way out of the game. Cleveland got the TD with the two-point conversion before Houston ever touched the ball.
Man of the Match:
The Legend of Paul "Pinky" Clemens. Because anybody who could put up zeroes for the Astros tonight should be sainted.
Goat of the Game:
Uh, Philip Humber. But really, every Astros pitcher except (Not Roger).