Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Wanted: Funny Jumbotron Stories

Now that AC's readership is expanding somewhat, I want to start some reader-submission entries. First up? I want your funniest Jumbotron stories. Since this is an Astros blog, let's see if we can't keep it to Minute Maid Park, or at another park when the Astros were on the road, or any minor-league affiliates with a Jumbotron. I'll start.

A couple of years ago, a friend of a friend hooked The Constabless and myself up with 2nd row seats, off the Astros' dugout. The guy next to me sits down with his significant other, and is sweating profusely. I'm a chatty guy, so I try talking to him, but he's obviously very fidgety and nervous, and is only capable of answering in one-syllable responses, or with a grunt. I write him off as a recovering drug addict and turn my attention elsewhere.

Then in one of the middle innings, after the Astros do their Kiss Cam thing, there's a "(Name), Will You Marry Me?" And I look at the guy on the Jumbotron, and figure out why he was so nervous. Yes, he was proposing to his lady.

Not content to just let him have his moment, I, then a 27-year old man, completely flipped my crap and leaned over to get in the shot. I wagged my tongue, banged my head, even gyrated a little bit. At one point, as the lady was saying yes, and The Constabless was hitting me, the new fiancee looked at me and shook her head, giving pause to the guy proposing.

I felt, and still feel, terrible. I was on the Jumbotron for so long that a buddy I hadn't seen in eight years came down from his seat in the third deck and said, "I knew that was you!"

Awful. Shameful.

That's what I'm looking for. Send an email to with your awful, shameful, hilarious Jumbotron stories.


JLC said...

One of the last years of the Dome, a buddy and I cut class to go to a midweek day game. Don't remember who we were playing, but there was nobody there -- pretty much everyone had whole rows to themselves.

Late in the game, the Jumbotron was showing random fans in between innings. They focused in on this one dude who looked like he had a whole section to himself. He was leaning back, with both arms spread out over the seats next to him. When he realized he was on the Jumbotron, he got this huge s***-eating grin on his face, and shot up both middle fingers. It took the Jumbotron guys a good 3-4 seconds before they realized what was happening and switched away from the guy. Too late -- everyone had noticed. Hilarious.

Ryan Sides said...

A couple of years ago a woman dumped popcorn on the guy proposing to her and ran away down the opposite aisle. I wasn't there, but I read an article about it. Sounds awesome. If anyone knows of the youtube link, please share.

jphelps said...

I was at a game about 5 years ago when Chan Ho Park was throwing against us. It was late in a game and he was enduring a rally by the Bros when the screen started showing the "Clap, Clap, Stomp, Stomp" video with Godzilla. After each time we'd clap the screen would flash Park's face for a split second. It made it seem like he was terrified of Godzilla. Probably the most racist thing I've seen at the MMP.