Monday, September 23, 2013

From the Office of the County Clerk - G157: Astros @ Rangers

Jordan Lyles (7-8, 5.26) vs Derek Holland (9-9, 3.48)

Save the worst for last, right? That's what they say... what? It isn't? Oh well. It took until the last half of the last month of the season, but your hysterically bad 2013 Houston Astros finally have a double-digit losing streak, and they did it in convincing fashion. Rangers arse kick the Astros 12-0, sending Houston to their 10th straight loss. The defeat drops the Astros 55 games under .500 at 51-106, tying their 2011 loss total and one shy of their franchise record 2012 loss total, with 5 games yet to play. The silver lining? Houston has now officially clinched the #1 pick in the 2014 draft, so you may begin ordering your Carlos Rodon jerseys immediately.

On the Mound:

*Jordan Lyles ended his 2013 season as he started it - which is to say, terribly. Six days after coughing up 9 runs in 3.1 IP against Cincinnati, he didn't even make it into the 4th inning again, sporting a spiffy 3 IP / 7 H / 7 R / 7 ER / 3 BB / 2 K line.

*David Martinez took the next three innings, and he was very nearly as bad, to the tune of a 3 IP / 7 H / 5 R / 4 ER / 0 BB / 2 K line.

*Chia-Jen Lo mercifully pitched a perfect 7th.

*Then a walk and a Jonathan Villar error put the first two men on against Josh Fields in the 8th, but Josh got the next three Rangers in order to escape the inning.

At the Plate:

*Not a single Astro got an extra base hit tonight. And they get to look forward to Yu Darvish tomorrow, who hasn't given the Astros' offense any trouble at all this season. Hahahahahahahahaha.

*Trevor Crowe did manage to go 2 for 2 with a walk, so good for him.

*Jose Altuve kept Altuve-ing in September, going 1 for 3 tonight.

*Matt Dominguez was 1 for 3 with a K at the plate, but also had a throwing error in the 4th that led to an unearned Ranger run.

*J.D. Martinez came in as a pinch hitter and stayed in to DH, finishing 1 for 2 with a K.

*Carlos Corporan went 1 for 2 before giving way behind the plate to Max Stassi, who finally returned from his scary August 21 concussion.

*And pour one out for L.J. Hoes' 9-game hitting streak, as he went 0 for 4 with 2 K tonight. Hoes' hitting streak is gone, but Houston's losing streak lives on...

Turning Point:

Ian Kinsler singled, Elvis Andrus singled, and Alex Rios doubled (en route to the cycle) to give Texas a 2-0 lead before Jordan Lyles recorded an out. That's how the night was gonna go for Houston.

Man of the Match:

Carlos Rodon. Because he's gotta be the best thing to come out of this mess, right?

Goat of the Game:

Jordan Lyles. But remember: he's still only 22 years old. Still a bright future ahead of him.