Monday, September 23, 2013

From the Office of the County Clerk - G157: Astros @ Rangers

Jordan Lyles (7-8, 5.26) vs Derek Holland (9-9, 3.48)

Save the worst for last, right? That's what they say... what? It isn't? Oh well. It took until the last half of the last month of the season, but your hysterically bad 2013 Houston Astros finally have a double-digit losing streak, and they did it in convincing fashion. Rangers arse kick the Astros 12-0, sending Houston to their 10th straight loss. The defeat drops the Astros 55 games under .500 at 51-106, tying their 2011 loss total and one shy of their franchise record 2012 loss total, with 5 games yet to play. The silver lining? Houston has now officially clinched the #1 pick in the 2014 draft, so you may begin ordering your Carlos Rodon jerseys immediately.

On the Mound:

*Jordan Lyles ended his 2013 season as he started it - which is to say, terribly. Six days after coughing up 9 runs in 3.1 IP against Cincinnati, he didn't even make it into the 4th inning again, sporting a spiffy 3 IP / 7 H / 7 R / 7 ER / 3 BB / 2 K line.

*David Martinez took the next three innings, and he was very nearly as bad, to the tune of a 3 IP / 7 H / 5 R / 4 ER / 0 BB / 2 K line.

*Chia-Jen Lo mercifully pitched a perfect 7th.

*Then a walk and a Jonathan Villar error put the first two men on against Josh Fields in the 8th, but Josh got the next three Rangers in order to escape the inning.

At the Plate:

*Not a single Astro got an extra base hit tonight. And they get to look forward to Yu Darvish tomorrow, who hasn't given the Astros' offense any trouble at all this season. Hahahahahahahahaha.

*Trevor Crowe did manage to go 2 for 2 with a walk, so good for him.

*Jose Altuve kept Altuve-ing in September, going 1 for 3 tonight.

*Matt Dominguez was 1 for 3 with a K at the plate, but also had a throwing error in the 4th that led to an unearned Ranger run.

*J.D. Martinez came in as a pinch hitter and stayed in to DH, finishing 1 for 2 with a K.

*Carlos Corporan went 1 for 2 before giving way behind the plate to Max Stassi, who finally returned from his scary August 21 concussion.

*And pour one out for L.J. Hoes' 9-game hitting streak, as he went 0 for 4 with 2 K tonight. Hoes' hitting streak is gone, but Houston's losing streak lives on...

Turning Point:

Ian Kinsler singled, Elvis Andrus singled, and Alex Rios doubled (en route to the cycle) to give Texas a 2-0 lead before Jordan Lyles recorded an out. That's how the night was gonna go for Houston.

Man of the Match:

Carlos Rodon. Because he's gotta be the best thing to come out of this mess, right?

Goat of the Game:

Jordan Lyles. But remember: he's still only 22 years old. Still a bright future ahead of him.


Anonymous said...

I like the man of the match! Lets be positive...... Btw.... Where's Wallace? Haven't seen him play in a week.

Anonymous said...

I don't want to hear someone root for a high draft pick again after this season. There really isn't anything more pathetic. Sooooooooo sick of losing all the freaking time.

Anonymous said...

I agree, that attitude is in bad taste.

Also, at some point, I would like the Crane/Luhnow supporters/apologists to address whether this season was worth it. By tanking it, or refusing to invest at all in the current roster, did the Astros lose fans in an amount large enough to impact ticket sales far into the future and/or lose enough interest to make any kind of acceptable TV impossible. If so, has the strategy effectively solidified the franchise to functioning as a small-market club for the next decade?

If general, the question to be revisted is whether this particular style of rebuild is penny wise/pound foolish, or is it still genius?

Cockroach said...

Anonymous #2, I thoroughly agree. I didn't want another #1 draft pick this year, at all. But we got it anyway, so we might as well make the best use of it.

Anonymous #1, Brett Wallace spun himself like a drill bit into the ground after all those K's in Cleveland and has yet to be unearthed. Excavation crews are en route.

Anonymous said...

Brett "The Whiff" Wallace doesn't even deserve a flight outta Houston --- put him in the cargo-hold of a Greyhound bus! He strikes out like Brad Ausmus with men on 3rd base!

I've been a diehard fan since 1985... This season is equivalent to 162 days worth of enemas! We need to end this season like Custer's last stand.

I am officially a ticked off 'Stros fan.

See you in Spring Training!


Terence said...

Why do people show up to bitch about Ausmus three times a week? Either you aren't Astros fans or you aren't baseball fans. Ausmus was a good catcher. Ausmus was a good enough hitting catcher. Ausmus did not strike out very much. There are an infinite number of bad Astros to make fun of over the last decade. Pedro Feliz, Jason Michaels,Preston Wilson, Bill Hall, Jason Lane, Tommy Manzella, Jordan Schafer, Angel Sanchez, JR Towles, Chris Snyder, Chris Truby, Eric Munson. The list stretches on ad infinitum. Jokes about Ausmus aren't funny. They don't impress anybody. Find a different joke.