Mike Leake (13-6, 3.35) vs Jordan Lyles (7-7, 4.92)
The Constable beat me to it, but yeah - remember this? Well, this is the 2013 version, and pretty much sums up everything you need to know about tonight's Astros game and their season. Cincinnati officially hands Houston their third consecutive 100-loss season with a 10-0 drubbing.
On the Mound:
*Jordan Lyles was very not good during spring training. Tonight he pitched like he was in spring training again. Observe: 3.1 IP / 9 H / 9 R / 8 ER / 3 BB / 0 K, and the 1 UER scored as a result of Lyles' own throwing error.
*Philip Humber, in contrast, actually did pretty okay, turning in a 3.1 IP / 3 H / 1 R / 1 ER / 0 BB / 3 K line.
*Rhiner Cruz then made his second appearance since returning from OKC, and his line was amazingly identical to what he did one week ago in Seattle: 2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 K, and a HBP.
At the Plate:
*Oh, Jonathan Villar. We love your hustle, but unfortunately now you'll be featured on highlight reels ad infinitum as a symbol of the Astros ineptitude. The .gif linked above was a result of trying to stretch a 1st-inning single into a double, and Villar finished 1 for 2 with 2 BB.
*Jose Altuve continues leading the universe in hitting for September, going 1 for 4 with a 2B today.
*Marc Krauss (1 for 4, K), Brett Wallace (1 for 2, HBP), and Jimmy Paredes (1 for 3, K) added the remaining hits.
It got bad fast. Shin-Soo Choo led off the game with a groundout on three pitches, but two pitches later, Brandon Phillips reached on Lyles' throwing error. Back-to-back singles by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce plated Phillips, then a walk to Xavier Paul and two more back-to-back singles by Todd Frazier and Zack Cozart brought three more Reds runs home.
Man of the Match:
Oh gosh. Rhiner Cruz?
Goat of the Game:
Jordan Lyles. Unfortunately afflicted with suck tonight.