Breaking: Wade claims player who looks just like Barmes

Astros County has learned the reason Ed Wade claimed Brian Bixler off waivers from the Nationals. Wade will let Barmes walk, and will try to pass Bixler off as Clint Barmes in order to save $4-5 million on the 2012 payroll. With the media so focused on Jim Crane and the ownership saga, and the focus on Andre Johnson's hamstring, combined with the general "don't-give-a-crap" attitude surrounding the fanbase, Wade felt as though he could make said minor move under the radar, put Bixler in a Barmes jersey purchased from the team store, and save millions.

The evidence:



No one would ever know. You're welcome.