Thursday, October 7, 2010

Astros County's Playoff Rules

Meant to post this yesterday, in advance of the first day of the playoffs, but you'll just have to make do with these ten rules for watching the 2010 playoffs.

1. It is okay to watch every game, despite what your wife/girlfriend/partner says. After the playoffs, it'll be five months before meaningful baseball is played again.

2. It is even okay to watch more playoff games in October than you watched Astros games in September.

3. It is not okay to "pick a new team." You made your bed, now you have to lie in it, even if it has crabs.

4. It is okay to be pulling for a Yankees/Phillies World Series. The prospect of Roy Oswalt pitching to Lance Berkman is too much for me to bear, but it is okay to hope it happens. And it is also okay to be happy for Roy/Lance (but not Aubrey Huff). It is also not okay to be happy for the franchises.

5. It is not okay to pull for the Rangers "because they're from Texas." Screw that. Does the Silver Boot mean nothing to you!?

6. It is okay to pull for the Reds because they're in the NL Central. Let's face it, we need all the respect we can get, and if you have been beaten up and left for dead in an alley, and someone who has previously kicked the crap out of you defends your honor, so be it.

7. Despite that, it was totally okay to hope Roy Halladay no-hit the Reds, if only for the historical component.

8. If you have a friend who is a fan of a team currently playing, it is not okay to call them after a game, even if they are winning. They have earned the right to make initial contact.

9. If a friend is a fan of a team who has something bad happen (say, Roy Halladay throws a no-hitter), it is not okay to crack-a-lack a joke to them . At least their team made the playoffs. You must also wait until they call or text you.

10. It is okay to laugh at the Cardinals. Always.


street said...

I take exception to the calling rule. I have a buddy from New York that I feel the need to call, or text, after every Jeter strikeout or really stupid stunt pulled by the Yankees, opponents home runs, etc. That is perfectly acceptable behavior on my part (only because it is the Yankees though). Disagree?

Kathy Amen said...

I think Yankees are a special case, street. Although they have the annoying habit of coming back and making you eat your remarks...

The Constable. said...

I'll agree with that. The Yankees are given a special dispensation for abuse.

John Royal said...

I've got no problem with the Rangers winning this thing -- that's the Nolan Ryan fan in me. And that Silver Boot thing is a joke to me. However, I picked the Giants and Twins to meet in the World Series back when the season started, so that's who I'm pulling for.

Anonymous said...

You are such a loser. Who the hell are u to state rules to people. I don't care if you're joking or trying to be funny. You are weird.