Thursday, December 10, 2009

Deputy Jason: Astros now 28.6% whiter

The following is courtesy of Deputy Jason

Remember 2005, The Bros went to the Series and everyone loved everything about our team? Remember 2006, when the Astros were losing a lot of games with the same dudes?

That losing season begat accusations of being a racist organization by some media peeps from around the Houston. We weren't going to win without diversity in the workplace. Hell, for a while, we had the fewest black players of any team this side of Jasper High school. So the Bros went out and added a couple of ethnically diverse players/coaches and boosted their street cred considerably.

Well, damn. That obviously didn't work. The Bros have struggled to win half their games over the past 3 years using a melting pot approach. We Houston fans are a fickle bunch, we'll only go watch winning teams no matter what flavor.

With LaHawk's and Valverde hitting the bricks this week, combined with the addition of new relievers Matty Lindstom and Brandon Lyons, the bullpen has become 28.6% whiter (and 14.3% mormon-er). This blatant ethnic cleansing is not even relegated to the bullpen. Miggy was told peace out, Pudge was given a one way ticket out, and Wandy Rodriguez was made to change his name to Chuck Goldstein.

Losing for three years straight has raised some hard questions within the front office. Why are we trying to be diverse for the sake of being diverse? Why are we trying to be MTV's Real World when we can be Jersey Shore?

Ratings gold = Tickets sold.