Thursday, August 27, 2009

JJO needs you to remember his loyalty

Carrying on the metaphor of death and destruction around the 2009 Astros, JJO wants you to remember something - just in case you ever question him:

In 2005, history will show that I refused to declare the Astros dead in the story that ran alongside the infamous tombstone. In 2009, however, I'm going to call it. I wish I could say you heard it here first, but you've heard it all over the place for a while...

...Bring out the peanut butter and jelly for the Astros, 'cause these boys are toast.

They aren't just dead. They're road kill.

I looked for a pulse in the Astros' clubhouse Wednesday night, and I didn't find one.

What many of you have seen for a while became quite clear: the 2009 season is over for your Houston Astros. Cheering for the Astros now is like continuing to hope the girlfriend who just dumped you and treated you like manure is suddenly going to think you're Brad Pitt. It isn't going to happen.

Metaphor Call-off:
1. Death (check)
2. Breakfast (check)
3. Relationships (check).