Bizarrely, I'm not even making that up.
It's complimentary to the Astros, and their being given to second-half surges, but they are described as:
-The aformentioned gum on your shoes
-Ants at a picnic
-A screeching neighborhood brat
In our defense, they make it easy. They start each season as if baseball was a new endeavor, as foreign to them as curling or synchronized swimming. They kick ground balls, miss cutoff men, groove fastballs and strand runners...
...Beyond all of that, they're the Astros, which seems to count for a lot the deeper you go into any season.
They are gum on our shoes.